love sick

ohhh fuck my life : (

i know its a bit late to be a p.s. but whatever.

im getting a kitten on thursday. im fucking excited. im 90% sure on what im going to call him. be excited for photos of the lil fluffy guy sometime in the future

x

no obama/prop8 post. yet to post my sydney photo blog. fuck it. a few little things:

i despise my job. every morning as im leaving for work, i pray to be welcomed to the office by flames engulfing my building. honestly. let it be hit by an asteroid, or let some arsonists have a party. a bomb? anything. please! my friend actually just came over to my desk and put up a sign that says ‘in hell’. pretty fucking appropriate.

also, i have lost respect for people i had faith in as human beings, what a joke. why do people have to be so decieving, so malicious, so immature? please stop being so horrible to her, shes done nothing to you and youre acting like a fucking dick. your actions affect other people, do you not realise that or are you just doing it because youre jealous because shes better off without you and everyone thinks youre a jerk for how youre treating her? oh, im guessing its the latter. stop trying to hurt her. seriously.
also hey guy, dont know why we are just suddenly not friends anymore (could it be the fact that most people are flakes?) but thanks for walking away from me, because i dont have the guts to do it to you. enjoy your life!

being angry keeps me positive : ) xo

chlo and i had a discussion yesterday afternoon when i was in a panic about life. shes a serious good egg. so i did her  this painting of appreciation.

thankyou x

“say this is jealousy that Im feeling well then Im fine with that. you have a certain characteristic that gives you the means to not feel a fucking thing for anyone that isnt you. now tell me youre not fucking selfish. for every kind hearted word that I spoke to you. I beg I could take back every syllable you ripped from my mouth as I screamed for you to understand. what it feels like to not be as important to someone as they are to you”

sydney tomorrow night, im pretty excited to see no apologies but obviously a little sad that it will be the last time. tomorrow im going to sleep in until whenever i feel like, wake up, have a bubble bath, bake some cupcakes and do a painting while theyre in the oven.  its the kind of day i dream of, and im so happy i have a chance to finally do it. ive been so run off my feet lately, working extra hours to get some more cash together. plus ive been seeing so much of my friends, and dont get me wrong im not complaining, theyre amazing, and so much fun, but i really am glad im going to have a day to myself where im able sit around in my pjs. then im meeting sarah and kate for trippy taco and going to the show. from the show, to doddsys house for a nap before being picked up by glenn and michaela at 4am and starting our long drive to sydney. we’re hoping to get there at like 4 in the arvo, hopefully we do  because i have a lot of friends who are hoping for a green gourmet reunion, and i am hoping too. just want to hug their guts out.

i had an interesting day yesterday, it really made me think about what im doing, where im going and how much i really want certain things in my life. it left me in a panic, absolutely petrified of things to come. then when i got home, walked into the lounge to feed my fish umi and found him belly up. i know he was only a fish, but i was so fucking bummed out. youll laugh but whatever. i loved  that guy. so i called up cin, and we met half way between our houses. her living so close is actually so amazing. i may have smoked a few cigarettes (dont start) and we had a discussion about how hard life can be sometimes, and how you have to try and overcome it. thanks to that discussion i feel strong again.  ive come so far and im not backing down because of one bad day.

i did a painting last night, ill post a picture tonight or something.

also this morning i found out some terrible news from my home city. my heart goes out to perth inhabitants, friends, family and anyone affected by whats happened. x

it irritates me that people dislike me for no reason, for something that they actually dont have all the facts about. i like almost everyone i meet, and i get along with everyone because im such an easygoing person. im really not one of those girls who get off on starting beef with people or doing things to get in their face and piss them off. i never have been. when i was younger, i used to want everyone to like me. i now know this is impossible, but someone hating me, despising me, for something as petty as a phonecall which wasnt even initiated by me just doesnt seem to make sense. the accusation that i would use my time to talk about you and your life, is just absurd. i am too busy living my own life at the moment and have no time to even worry about something that happened near to twelve months ago. it is honestly the furthest thing from my mind. im not going to give blow by blow details of this drama to date, because it really is not something i think should be thrown into a public forum, because i know that will just escalate the issue, but i have just wanted to get a few things off my mind. someone saying happy newyears to someone, anyone, just isnt a legitimate basis for such a bitter attitude towards someone! it just seems like such the kind of drama youd encounter in highschool. and i left that place for a reason. put it behind you and move on. just sayin. i wont hold a grudge. toodles. x

some girls try too hard to impress
with the way that they dress
with those things on their chest
and the things they suggest to me

i couldn’t believe what this lady was saying
the names she was dropping, the games she was playing
she dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys
how shes down with the ‘wise well-constructed disguise’
now Id rather go dateless than stay here and hate this
her volume of makeup her fake tits were tasteless
so I said Id call her but never would bother
until I got turned down by another girl at a party

i love blink 182, i love doddsy, i love lifeeeee

my weekend was pretty awesome. i technically only had a one day weekend because i worked an extra shift today, need the mouuuulah for europe, you know how it is. but i still got to do so much, like go out to dinner and see ruinerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! plus i got to perve on cute dudes, alwaaaays a plus hahaha. gave pep a painting i did for him and he really liked it, i was stoked. its nice that people appreciate my artwork! i might scan a few paintings soon and put them up here for noone in particular to see. stinky wolf is probably my favourite drawing at the moment hhahahahahahaha flies and green stinklines! hmm mm mmmmm currently watching sex and the city in bed with caity and mel. i love you both, my angelllsssss. saw a ~gymnast~ tonight at crown casino doing a ~backflip~ hahahaha. i miss clare a lot at the moment, caity mel and i went to san churros with doddsy today and clare basically is spainish boys to me, so it just wasnt quite the same although obviously delicious anyway. umm what else. nothing really. baby a left without saying toodles, i was bummed! work in the morning uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. nighty night xoxoxo

lately: lupe fiasco, mos def, kate nash, ruiner, suicide file & katy perry. avocado sushi, veggie bar dates and lotf with doddsy. skirtssss, its summer soon and its warming up. hello kitty wedding ring. no fringe. shopping at douglas and hope, missing keith and lottie. i have a hole in my favourite shoes, my red vans need a wash. spilt ink on my favourite pajamas, wont come out.

dont even know why im posting for a second consecutive day.

im so fuckin haaaaaaapppy!

toooodleesssss xo