love sick

its been ages since i posted, no internet as per usual. internets for mad gaybos anyway.

but for all the lurkers out there this is what ive been going lately.

-missin my boyfriend
-hangin with my cat
-drawing
-paying off all my debts (only a little left to go!)
-shopping way too much (oops)
-loving my friends
-missing my mum (who is getting married wtf)

OK THATS IT TIL NEXT TIME CYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so its been over a month since i posted last, in that time a whole bunch of things have happened. its been an interesting month thats for sure.

im now twenty one, as of march 14, happy belated birthday to myself. i didnt really get up to much, had friends around me at 12am on the eve of my birthday to eat pancakes in doncaster, which was cool. then caught an iron mind show and ran around in the rain. ate some vegan parma at ebc, then went home to snuggle meridian and watch 90210. no partying! my present from caity/brooke/pepper was a swwwweet old record player from the 60s, its huge and has seriously impressive sound. pretty incredible gift, will last a lifetime or more.

moved house the other week, still in prahran but closer to the trainstation, awesome housemates and cheeeaaaaper rent so i like it a lot. the rain sounds beautiful on my roof, and ive had so many lovely visitors already, i really enjoy it.

theres been some other stuff, that im not going to go into detail with here but i miss a certain person a lot at the moment, and this is a lot harder than i ever would have imagined, i know my friends who are clued in about this dont fully understand, and thats okay, its not their situation but ughhh i dont know i feel a bit empty and unloved right now, i keep rolling over to find only my cat and it just… sucks i guess. they meant a lot to me, more than theyll probably ever know.

my best friend, who will probably read this (hi!) has a boyfriend, who i also adore so thats pretty cute/sickening. to be honest, it makes me feel even lonelier but ohwell shes happy so im happy so whatever!

im currently at this very second in perth, w.a. aka my city of origins, with one of my best friends. its seriously been so much fun, we got here late tuesday night and since then we have: seen clare, driven to cottesloe beach, eaten caramel slice at miami bakery, played a lot of guitar hero, had a bbq with my mother sister and brother, walked around in perth city, shopped at 78 records, hung out at holdfast with stooks and stacey, had dinner with cat josh and hayley at formosa and hanging out with the bff i have never drank more coca cola in my entire LIFE. haha. tomorrow i think we are doing kings park, the foreshore ferris wheel and hula bula bar for cocktails/mocktails. saturday is all party, im siked.

stacey is tattooing meridian on me when she gets back to melbourne, which excites me a lot. shes amazing and so is my cat so im sure its going to be an awesome piece of art. speaking of meridian he is now very big and very fat and still purrs continuously. i miss him, looking forward to getting home

oooookay, end of essay. cya later. xo

caity finally gets home tonight, short trip but it feels like its been for ever! im so excited, waiting to go to the airport now eeee

i had a really great great great weekend, friday night arron came over and we watched dvds, and i cuddled up to my purry little meridian (hes not really little anymore, hes getting so big!) yesterday we went to meet sarah in the city, ate salsas, went to american apparel, hung out at my house and watched family guy. kate picked us up and we dropped the other two in the city and went to meet leigh, neil and doddsy. we all sat by the river, talked about mallrats and how stupid valentines day is (but only because we’re alone) i tried to convince doddsy to throw leighs sauce covered chips at a couple on a gondola but he wussed out bigtime and missed out on the $50 i was offering haha. from there kate and i drove over to mks, where we proceeded to make amazingggg mock meat sushi and annoy glenn. sat on the porch couch, talking for hours. kate drove me in to bang at about 1am, the most epic line to get in so kate just went back home. danced up a storm with meatdog, neil, doddsy, pepper, brooke, sarah, arron, kayla, zac, j0el, leigh etc etc etc and had the most fun ive had in FOR EVERRRR i love to dance. arron got so drunk he tried to make out with a wall hahahahaha, had to drag him into a taxi, where he proceeded to yell and throw things out of the window. hilarious but annoying. he, sarah and i all ended up in the same bed spooning. when we woke up we went and smeeshed grilled burgers to ditch the hangovers we were all nursing (arrons a bit worse than sarah and myself) and headed to the city to meet liz, went to peppers, went to sarahs and then i came here TALK ABOUT AN ESSAY. ohwell, i want to be able to read this a year from now and laugh at the fact that arron made out with a wall OH and tried to jump out my bedroom window and sarah had to tackle him hahahahaha. i love my friends and im so glad my number one is back soon <3

i have work at SIX AM tomorrow, ew. then meeting upewith liz to draw and then on to the east brunswick club for a welcome back to melbourne dinner for caity, definitely siked for $10 parmas and peanut butter cheesecake.

HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYY xo

caity is away at the moment, she left last week to go to europe. first london, then paris and today shes flying to spain to see her dad. despite speaking to her every day, and hearing every detail of her trip, i miss her more than words can express. ive been out with friends, and while its nice to have company i feel somewhat like a social retard when shes not around, i kind of sit there, floating in and out of conversation, staring into space. we do everything together, i cant imagine how i would have survived in melbourne without her. shes home sunday. i cannot wait.

on the weekend, temperatures were the highest recorded in melbourne ever. and i mean ever. in the cbd it was 46.7degrees celsius. many people have read/seen/heard the news about the bushfires. i have never heard a story so close to home that has broken my heart so much. over 750 houses have been burnt entirely to the ground, the deathtoll is currently sitting at over 130, expected to almost double by morning, towns have been completely wiped out, are gone from the map, nothing but a pile of ashes. the fact that they suspect arson for a whole bunch of these fires makes me fucking sick, how fucked up would you have to be to do such a thing, k rudd was recently quoted as calling the arsonists mass murderers, and i fully back that statement, they should rot in jail for what they have done, the suffering they have caused others. fuck, i cant even begin to imagine how hard it would be for the people of those communities. my heart goes out to anyone who has experienced any loss due to this tragedy.

in other news, have been painting a lot lately, its been really fucking relaxing, and time consuming. my cat keeps getting attacked by the stupid dog, i hate it. i think i am finding a house with my friend liz when my lease runs up, shes moving down from wollongong. i miss my mum. i am so over my job. im starting to put together a portfolio to possibly maybe try and get an apprenticeship but im a scaredy cat, liz says she will push me into shops if she has to. my phone is a piece of shit, i need a new one. i turn 21 in a few weeks and im scared to finally be an “adult”. red wine is a delicious friend to have.

i need this in my life right now: eyehategod, mogwai, cult of luna, electric wizard, iron monkey, neurosis, crime in stereo, coldplay, sufjan stevens, bright eyes, brand new, sinking ships, morrissey, sigur ros, bloc party, mew

tomorrow i plan to get ridiculously high, lay in bed and listen to the first five bands. i forsee an astral journey of epic proportions. i should stop smoking but my brain likes it too much.

night

i feel so completely average about everything in my life at the moment. home, work, myself, my art, my relationships.

i would kill to be at my mums house, snuggled up on the couch with our dog einstein under a big blanket. i just never feel like im home lately. maybe i need to move again. get out of here and find somewhere more comfortable? or maybe i need to find my own house and set it up to feel like i belong.

tonight caity, kate, doddsy, mel, pepper, brooke, neil and myself went to a bbq hosted by mk and glenn. it was so nice to see them all and catch up, make bad jokes about glenns straw hat and eat burgers. the boys went to play bball for a while and all the girls got to sit around and bitch about shitty attitudes and shitty people, a few good stories were told, it was  pretty funny.

ive got a killer headache and im sick and tired of the heat, work in a few hours, night x

havent updated in a while.

the trip to sydney for internal affairs was legitimately the worst trip of my life. only a few pluses; smoking blunts with kate, sam and tbone, eating green gourmet with vavara and catching up with aikko and having mexican. i didnt get into the show because they declined my ID because it didnt have an address on it. so fucked. went back to our hot, dirty backpackers room and slept.

went to hang out with matt and aj who were down to play peppers house show yesterday. always rules to see them, theyre the nicest guys ever. sat around in the sun for way too long and got burnt, i look like pinchy the lobster. will probably have to cancel my tattoo appointment urgggggggh

my 12 year old brother is flying over from perth tonight, so excited. this week i will be doing the following; luna park, werribee open plain zoo, museum, art gallery, wicked the musical, galactic circus, mistys diner. sooooo gooooood, ive missed him, im excited!

byeeee x

2009 is off to an amazing start, i welcomed the newyears with some of my favourite girls, out on the peninsula. we all went to mels house for dinner, cupcakes and champage (or lemonade). just before midnight we went down to the beach, and played with about 5 packets of sparklers and kate, in her drunken state, decided a fully clothed swim was in order. honestly was the best newyears of my life, so glad i wasnt in the city, fuck crowds.

ive started a new hobby, toy painting. its pretty fun, half way through a zombie thug on a kidrobot diy for mel. brains showing etc, its looking good so far, no doubt will put photos up eventually. i had to go into a hobby shop to buy enamel paints, and was met by two old fat men obsessed with model airplanes, actually quite frightening and im not looking forward to going back for more colours haha.

we’re roadtripping up to nsw on friday for internal affairs, should be a whole lot of fun. i took the day off and we’re leaving bright and early friday morning so we’re going to have extra time to hang in sydney. so so siked for green gourmet. this is like the second time ive been up in the past few months, people deciding to drive makes my life so much easier (cheaper) haha. caity has never driven up before, so should be fun for her. 99.9% sure im going to smoke mad blunts  at every pit stop and spend the whole trip talking bullshit, should be rad.

have a huge crush on a guy, dont know where i stand or what to do about it, argh.

moving in with penrith sarah when my lease is up and couldnt be more siked. whatsup vegan dinners nightly. shes legit one of the best people i know, and having a little home with her and meridian is going to be amazing.

speaking of meridian hes getting fucking huge. unless he is asleep, he doesnt stop purring, ever. and i mean EVER. cute as fuck still. feline soulmate, im pretty sure. this morning we snuggled up on the couch and watched back to back episodes of antiques roadshow and had a little nap. i fucking adore him, even when he scratches me.

i turn 21 in like two and a half months, its frightening. im supposed to be acting mature and stuff but i feel like my life is complete and utter chaos at the moment, i had more drive and direction as a sixteen year old, fuck. hopefully will be going home to perth to celebrate my mums (5th march), my (14th march) and clares mums 60th (16th march) birthday. talk about a week of raging! also have emailed rachi brains to try and get a tattoo appointment as a present to myself. hopefully she gets back at me about that soon, it will be nice to see lucy and her baby esther, who was born almost three fucking years ago who i still havent had the pleasure of seeing in the flesh, slack or what. plus seaworld and polar bears would be great, those guys are so cute.

iiiiii think thats about it from me for a while, might do a photo post after sydney, but probably not, im super lazzzzzzzzzzy

x

lately ive been so irritable, it seems there are only a select few things/people who can cheer me up.

christmas ruled, i spent the day with caity (one of the select few) and her family for the second year in a row, teased her nu metal brother and ate heaps of cherries.

i got an assortment of things from friends and family including ;
- vintage bone china siamese twin cats
- a tea set
- angelique book, mirror, etc
- harajuku lovers perfume
- crime in stereo 12″
- sunglasses
- lots of little kitchy japanese things
- hello kitty mug, panda mug
- a new purse
- a lucky 13 shirt

im sure theres plenty more but im having a mental blank.

we went to see bedtime stories, and even though its not the kind of movie id expect adam sandler to do, its fucking adorable, im taking baby a to go see it this week because its his birthday todaaaaay! happy birthday arron

ummmm uhhhhh yeah get a fuck the world tattoo

CYA

nothing you do is going to break me down, because i have done nothing wrong, and i know that. either have my friends. so we’ll keep dancing and laughing and smiling and im sorry if that upsets you but we’re not going to stop living our lives because you just decided to hate us. i dont understand why you decided to be like this, but i guess ill have to deal with it

in other news, clares here to visit. the past few days have been incredible. i cant believe everyone kept it a secret from me, but it was the happiest surprise ive ever had. she has to fly home tomorrow. and i dont want her to. i need her here. i dont know how im going to deal when shes gone again. i guess maybe its time for a visit home?

i dyed my hair black because im an emo goth.